Funny Instagram bio ideas

 

  • People call me Sara but you can call me tonight 😉

  • When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.

  • Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

  • On the other hand, you have different fingers.

  • I bet you I could stop gambling.

  • I’m like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

  • There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.

  • I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

 

  • Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?Few women admit their age; few men act it.

  • God is really creative. I mean, just look at me.

  • What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

  • I named my iPod “Titanic.” It’s syncing now.

  • What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.

  • Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

  • I’m on Instagram, like you.

 

  • There will be no adulting today.

  • What did one snowman say to the other one? “Do you smell carrots?”

  • After Monday and Tuesday, every calendar says WTF.

  • Living vicariously through myself.

  • I’d tell a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.

  • Life happens. Coffee helps.

  • I’m a glowstick – I had to break before I could shine.

  • My autobiography is this mess of pics.
  •  I wanna be different just like everyone else.

  • No one’s life is as perfect as their Instagram feed

  •  I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook.

  • Life is short so I’m smiling while I’ve still got all my teeth.

  • I can’t remember who I stole my bio from or why.

  • Instagram bio currently loading.

  • My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

  • Relationship status: Netflix and ice cream.

  • One of the few people on Instagram who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru.
  • We are born naked, hungry, and wet. Then things just get worse.

  • I still don’t understand Instagram, but here I am anyway.

  • My relationship status? Netflix, Oreos, and sweatpants.

  • I hope one day I will love something the way women in commercials love yogurt.

  • Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?

  • Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.

  • Be a pineapple: Stand up straight, wear a crown, and always be sweet on the inside.

  • I always prefer my puns to be intended. Life is too short to wear boring undies. Being a fruit loop in a bowl of cheerios. We’re all just molecules.

 

 

 

 

  • A caffeine-dependent life-form.

  • I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.

  • Here to serve… The cat overlord.

  • I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

  • Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.

  • I woke up and… posted this.

  • Life is short… smile while you still have teeth.

 

 

  • I’m starting to like Instagram, which is weird because I hate pictures.

  • The hardest thing I ever tried is being normal.

  • Words cannot express my love and passion for Fridays. The photos might help.

  • A preview of my life. This is not the whole movie. P.S.: if you wanna get behind the scenes just head to my stories.

  • Recovering from donuts addiction.

  • Chocolate never asks me any questions, chocolate understands me.

  • “Be strong,” I whisper to my WiFi signal.

 

 

Girly Quotes for Instagram bio

 

 

  • I collect smiles and then I give them away.

  • There is a princess inside all of us.

  • Keep your heels, head & standards high.

  • I love rumors. I always find out amazing things about myself I never knew.

  • A girl doesn’t need anyone who doesn’t need her.

  • You’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town.

  • Hearts get hurt. They broke. They get fixed and the cycle gets repeated.

  • I’m only pretending to be me.

 

  • Unique & different is the next generation of beautiful.

  • I hate when people tell me I’ve changed when they never even knew me at all.

  • A mistake that makes you humble is much better than an achievement that makes you arrogant.

  • When life gets blurry adjust your focus.

  • Nothing can stop you from climbing a cliff only if you know how to fall.

  • SPREAD your WINGS & FLY.

  • They told me I couldn’t that’s why I did.

  • Be the reason someone believes in the goodness of people.

 

  • Stay strong, make them wonder how you’re still smiling.

  • Make it happen and shock everyone.

  • Darling, I’m a nightmare, dressed like a daydream.

  • There is a star high up for every girl, waiting for you to lift up your head.

     

  • Beautiful girls rise with the sun every morning, to create new and beautiful memories.

  • A smiling girl is the CEO of her own world.

  • The world has a red carpet for any girl who is determined.

  • Love me or hate me I’m still gonna shine.

 

  • Be your own kind of beautiful.

  • A woman has as many lives as her shoes.

  • Like flowers, every girl has her season to blossom.

  • Face the world with a smile, it will give up and smile back.

  • I turn can’ts into cans and dreams into plans.

  • Strong women rule the world.

  • Maybe she’s born with it.

  • Always wear your invisible crown.

  • Time is precious, waste it wisely.

 

  • I strive to impress myself.

  • The prettiest smiles hide the biggest secrets.

  • Do something today that your future self will thank you for.

  • Be a flamingo in the flock of pigeons.

  • You’ll never shine if all you do is throw shade.

  • Love without limits.

  • Adding a little sparkle to your day.

  • So many of my smiles are because of you.

 

  • Sweet as sugar, tough as nails.

  • Just a girl in front of a photo willing to receive likes.

  • Keep your heels, head, and standard high.

  • Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoes at midnight, you are drunk!

  • Today’s mood is brought to you by lipstick and coffee.

  • Nice guys do invite you to lunch.

  • Currently starring in my own reality show titled: A Modern Cinderella, One Girl’s Search for Love and Shoe.

 

  • Just like my eyeliner, I always wing it.

  • Leave a little sparkle everywhere you go.

  • Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.

  • Sassy, classy, and bad-assy.

  • Who runs the world? GIRLS.

  • A great girl is classy, not trashy.

  • Being a girl is the worst and the best that happened to me.

  • Girls don’t wait for the prince anymore. They just pack and travel the world.

  • Who cares, I am awesome.

 

  • I am a girl. I don’t smoke, drink or party every weekend.Also, I don’t sleep around or start drama to get attention. Yes, we do still exist!

  • Voice of the wild within every woman

  • A messy bun and having fun.

  • My standards are high. Just like my heels.

  • Single, focused, blessed. Living life.

  • Doing all things with kindness.

 

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